This weekend has proved to be one of the most amazing times of my life, and it's not really very easy to explain why!
I've been finding recently that the word 'capacity' keeps coming up again and again.
I've been finding that my own capacity has been stretched in more ways than one. I've been given opportunities and exposure to things that in a larger church I probably wouldn't even be aware of.
My own limitations have kept popping up in different situations to remind me that I'm only a man and that there is only so much I'm able to do in my own strength and that has driven me back to God time and time again as I find that I just can't do it on my own.
Gods been speaking to me about some pretty big things and I'm just having to let go of some stuff that I would normally want to be in control of and if I'm honest I've really found it a struggle at times to completely trust him with things that before I didn't even think about.
I was massively impacted by a comment Mick Taylor made at my last Foundations training session. He told us all that sometimes he just has to get before God and cry out for Him to turn up because in and of himself he just can't produce the goods!
I was so impressed by a man that has got years and years of ministry experience not talking about his own skills and abilities but reminding us all that no matter how far along the line we get in leadership it should always be about God demonstrating his power rather than us getting in the way of it with our own feeble efforts.
There have been several occasions this week when normally I would have felt completely burnt out by the demands of ministry and other people around me, but because of Mick's advice each time I've felt under pressure and been aware of my limitations I've cried out to God and each and every time he has turned up in power and refreshed me, impacted people around me and given me so much joy that it's hard to keep it contained!
I really do feel that God has broken something inside of me that was getting in the way of things before. I can feel a new sense of freedom that wasn't there just a few days ago, to the point where I am unsure of how I ever managed without him in this way!
God you are amazing and it's an awesome privilege to be known by you!